Drum Majors, Are Your Marching Bands Ready?
"Thunder In Boise" is what the promoters used to describe a Drum Corps International (for short: "DCI", for long: "A large group of extremely ambitious marching band geeks able to recite every line Mr. Spock had in the second season of the original Star Trek, gleefully making noise and moving in an organized fashion") tournament held on the blue turf of the Boise State Stadium last Tuesday. I'm hardly one to belittle marching bands, after all I did participate in the Keith Stein Blue Thunder Marching Band all through my tenure at Boise State University, but as this was a legitimate competition I find it necessary to let you all in on how I judged the evenings competitors.
Performance Number One: The Actual Program:
It's not that generic astrobright programs have been overdone, it's just that - well, they ARE overdone. I know the stuff is super cheap, but at least make an effort to be original. Honestly, I've seen more creativity in a cinder block wall. But as a redeeming quality the times were scheduled down to the minute (i.e. the Oregon Crusaders were scheduled to perform from 7:57 to 8:14). Too bad the very first act started seven minutes late and completely destroyed all the effort put into my bright yellow observer guide.
Grading: A+ for planning, F- for visual creativity. Overall: C.
Performance Number Two: The National Anthem:
I'm torn on this one for two reasons. One: the anthem was performed by a very talented woman I've known since my early days of college; but two: it took more time to get through the song than it did for America to win the Revolutionary War. I don't know when it became cool to drag that tune out for as long as humanly possible, but we experienced two lunar eclipses between the first and second stanzas alone.
Grading: A for talent/execution, D for arrangement, A+ for visual beauty. Overall: B.
"Spokane Thunder":
They say it's always best to perform first, so you won't be judged based on someone's previous performance. Whoever said that obviously wasn't there on Tuesday. I thought thunder was supposed to be loud? These guys couldn't have sounded any quieter if they were stalking an antelope in the forrest. On top of that, there were no cymbals. NO CYMBALS! Cymbals are the quintessential aspects of any marching band. A marching band without cymbals is like a DVD player without a TV: useless!
Performance: F, Fancy formations: C, Cymbals: F-. Overall: F.
"Oregon Crusaders":
The most ironic aspect of this group's performance was that they played Middle Eastern music and acted out scenes from what looked like Disney's "Aladdin," despite being named after a group of Western militants intent to eradicate the Arabs from the Holy Land. Good idea: spend hundreds of years slaughtering Muslims then play their songs in a Marching Band Competition. Not to mention another lack of cymbals.
Performance: C, Multi-Ethnic Harmony: F-, Cymbals: F-. Overall: F.
"Vanguard Cadets":
Finally a band with marching cymbal players! And on top of that they swung them around better than their their flag team girls could ever dream of, despite the fact that they were dressed like Robbin Hood's Merry Men.
performance: B-, Probable Archery Skills: A-, Cymbals: A+. Overall: B+.
(See, cymbals go a long way).
"Seattle Cascades":
These guys had a show reminiscent of every underground Indie play you could possibly imagine. There was a narrator saying such phrases as: "Construct a flying machine, a machine that can fly." (A bit of a statement of redundancy statement - get it!?!). The colorguard gals were dressed up with costumes left over from Logan's Run. In addition there were air raid sirens, giant geometric shapes made from PVC pipe, and huge model airplanes. This thing was weirder than any Stanly Kubrik flick. BUT, I do have two buddies in this band, one on a bass drum, the other on the... CYMBALS.
Performance: A+, Pink Floyd Weirdness: A+, Cymbals: A+. Overall: A+.
(As a performer, it helps to know the judge... WINK!).
"Phantom Regiment":
Apparently these were the heavyweights of the night, and they certainly didn't lack in sound. However, they played old Gershwin tunes and dressed like they were still smack dab in the Roaring Twenties. Honestly, there are more people living in the past in this band than at all modern Woodstocks and every Renaissance clubs combined. One woman in front of me wore a shirt that said, "Be Afraid of the Dark - Phantom Regiment." True enough, I was afraid of dark that night - but only because I thought they were going to go into another song. With over 150 members, you'd think that at least one of the would know how to play the cymbals...
Performance: A, modernism of Costumes: F, Cymbals: F-. Overall C.
And that concluded the evenings festivities. In case anyone was wondering how the real judges scored them, here's the official report card:
Spokane Thunder: 56/100, 5th place
Oregon Crusaders: 70/100, 4th place
Vanguard Cadets: 76/100, 2nd place
Seattle Cascades: 72/100, 3rd place
Phantom Regiment: 84/100, 1st place
What does that say about society when a low/mid B actually makes you the grand champion?
Rock On
10 Comments:
you really must write for a little known 'news' paper that I know called the onion. you would make a killing there. miss you and hope to talk to you soon.
e
You are a goddam bastard. Obviously you have no respect for anything to do with Drum Corps. Although I like a good cymbal line as much as the next guy, basing the whole performance on that is beyond stupid. And you put the Seattle Cascades on top? What kind of BS is that? Even though I have friends in the Cascades, I still hated their show. The narration was total crap, and there wasn't one exciting move until the very end. The Phantom Regiment kicked ass all summer and killed the Cascades. I'll admit that the Thunder had a bad performance, but still, WE'RE ONLY IN OUR SECOND YEAR, DUMB-ASS! WE'RE IN DIVISION III AND STILL LEARNING! Or was your head so buried in your popcorn that you forgot to read the program?
Oh, wait, I forgot, you did COLLEGE marching band! That explains everything about your apparent lack of knowledge about everything that has to do with marching. You're probably just a fat kid who does nothing in the summer except sit on his fat ass and only plays video games, therefore accomplishing nothing worthwhile in his life. Or are you a red neck form Idaho whose idea of a great tune is dueling banjos and a harmonica?
People like you make me sick. It's no wonder America has such a lack for art. But all this isn't going to change that, unfortunately. And I know you're going to make this into a big deal and make fun of everything I said. But just keep in mind: you are simple minded and probably have no life, but I respect that.
You are a goddam bastard. Obviously you have no respect for anything to do with Drum Corps. Although I like a good cymbal line as much as the next guy, basing the whole performance on that is beyond stupid. And you put the Seattle Cascades on top? What kind of BS is that? Even though I have friends in the Cascades, I still hated their show. The narration was total crap, and there wasn't one exciting move until the very end. The Phantom Regiment kicked ass all summer and killed the Cascades. I'll admit that the Thunder had a bad performance, but still, WE'RE ONLY IN OUR SECOND YEAR, DUMB-ASS! WE'RE IN DIVISION III AND STILL LEARNING! Or was your head so buried in your popcorn that you forgot to read the program?
Oh, wait, I forgot, you did COLLEGE marching band! That explains everything about your apparent lack of knowledge about everything that has to do with marching. You're probably just a fat kid who does nothing in the summer except sit on his fat ass and only plays video games, therefore accomplishing nothing worthwhile in his life. Or are you a red neck from Idaho whose idea of a great tune is dueling banjos and a harmonica?
People like you make me sick. It's no wonder America has such a lack for art. But all this isn't going to change that, unfortunately. And I know you're going to make this into a big deal and make fun of everything I said. But just keep in mind: you are simple minded and probably have no life, but I respect that.
See, I dispise you so much, I left the comment again with corrections just incase you couldn't understand my typo at the bottom.
wow as im reading i see you have never been in a drum corps due to your thinking is that i symbol line is the most importain thing because your wrong its the contras not a "tuba" or "Sousaphone" and maybe a 1st trumpet. and a drum corp is better then a marching band bacause theres no woodwinds holding us back!!!!!!!!!!!
"You are a goddam bastard."
Hey, there's an 'N' At the end of Damn...it's silence. Obviously you have no respect for anything to do with spelling.
"Obviously you have no respect for anything to do with Drum Corps."
If you knew Lee personally, you'd know he doesn't. If you don't know Lee, do you just read each and every blog on this site and post on the ones about trivial topics?
"Although I like a good cymbal line as much as the next guy, basing the whole performance on that is beyond stupid."
Everyone's a critic. Lee played cymbals and was drawn to that rather then watch something he isn't familiar with. When I can stomach to watch corps, I watch the drumline because thats what I played, I glance at the hornline from time to time, but my evaluation of the whole show is based upon the drumline. I couldn't care less about anything else.
"And you put the Seattle Cascades on top? What kind of BS is that? Even though I have friends in the Cascades, I still hated their show. The narration was total crap, and there wasn't one exciting move until the very end."
So now you're going to condemn Lee for having an opinion? It was the show he liked best. I know people who still think the Troopers are amazing, is it fair to call them stupid for having an opinion different from my own?
"The Phantom Regiment kicked ass all summer and killed the Cascades."
Phantom was also the only top 12 corps there, if the Cadets, BD or Cavaliers would have been there they would have shit all over Phantom. See how this works?
"I'll admit that the Thunder had a bad performance, but still, WE'RE ONLY IN OUR SECOND YEAR, DUMB-ASS! WE'RE IN DIVISION III AND STILL LEARNING! Or was your head so buried in your popcorn that you forgot to read the program?"
You want a trophy for sucking?
"Oh, wait, I forgot, you did COLLEGE marching band! That explains everything about your apparent lack of knowledge about everything that has to do with marching."
So if a kid plays high school football, he doesn't know whats going on if he watches an NFL game? Lee's been around band long enough he knows whats exciting and what is just plain boring horse shit.
"You're probably just a fat kid who does nothing in the summer except sit on his fat ass and only plays video games, therefore accomplishing nothing worthwhile in his life. Or are you a red neck form Idaho whose idea of a great tune is dueling banjos and a harmonica?"
Do you have a master's degree? Nevermind, I suppose this was just the token "I couldn't come up with any other valid arguments so I have to resort to name calling" segment in every internet forum.
"People like you make me sick. It's no wonder America has such a lack for art. But all this isn't going to change that, unfortunately. And I know you're going to make this into a big deal and make fun of everything I said. But just keep in mind: you are simple minded and probably have no life, but I respect that."
Pull your head out of your ass long enough to realize there's more important things to get worked up about rather then something retarded as drum corps.
I was totally into corps when I was in high school...then I woke up and decided I was wasting my time getting into something that spawns music snobs that get too caught up in the 'pagentry' and 'perfection' the corps dish out every summer.
I'm more into Marching Band and Corps then Lee, but I can appreciate the humor he was trying to convey. Maybe you've heard of something called sarcasm?
The only reason I go to drum corps shows now is because I get in for free. I haven't bought any videos or other perephernailia for four years because it's the same thing every year: boring, and a waste of my time and money. The top six will ALWAYS be the top six and haven't moved much in the 10 years I've been involved. It got old REAL quick.
Yeah, Lee's my friend but I'd say the same thing to anyone who brought up this loaded argument about something so fucking opinion based. You have your opinion, start your own blog and post all your drum corps frustrations there.
Dearest Anonymous #1. May I call you Anon for short? Or can I just call you douchebag?
You are in a horrible drum corps. The Thunder should stick to their kazoos and Jew's harps. Sorry you got ticked by Lee's dissection of marching bands. I can't help but think that you exhibit a classic case of (a psychiatric term here, stay with me...) "Attribution". That means you are blaming Lee for all of the taunting and beat-downs you recieved while proclaiming "Drum Corps Rules" at the top of your lungs in a football parking lot.
Sorry you got beat up in high school. Sorry you haven't grown out of your pimply phase yet. Sorry you finally grew some pubes, and now have a raging bush that will scare any chick away upon sight and smell.
Most of all, I'm sorry you think that your drum corps experience is the finest thing in life you will ever go through. Really, I'm sorry.
~~Matt
Hey I'm not going to take sides but I would like to point out a few humorous things.
Jeeble,
"Hey, there's an 'N' At the end of Damn...it's silence. Obviously you have no respect for anything to do with spelling. "
I just wanted to point out that if you are going to correct somebody on something like spelling you might want to think about using some grammar yourself. Instead of "silence" use silent next time. That would be the correct usage. The 'n' at the end of Goddamn wouldn't be silence. Silence is a noun while silent is an adjective. Usually you would use adjectives to describe nouns instead of more nouns. Oh well, maybe next time.
Also,
"Phantom was also the only top 12 corps there, if the Cadets, BD or Cavaliers would have been there they would have shit all over Phantom. See how this works?"
You mentioned that BD would have shit all over Phantom. If by BD you are referring to the Blue Devils, then you might be wrong there. Phantom actually beat BD this year by more than a point which is a considerable margin in DCI. So check your facts before making statements like that.
Next,
Matt,
"That means you are blaming Lee for all of the taunting and beat-downs you recieved"
There are more spelling errors. You mispelled received. I before e except after c, etc. I enjoyed how you tried to impress people by showing you know how to use big words such as "Attribution". Maybe you shouldn't worry so much about the big words and try to get the little ones down before trying to sound all high and mighty with your extensive "psychiatric" vocabulary.
Just a thought....
Hey fuck up if I really cared about it I would have already known Phantom Regiment scored a point higher then the Blue Devils. How many times in the past 10 years has that happened? There's my research. Besides, all drum corps sucks anyway so all that really means is that Phantom sucked a little less then Blue Devils this year.
Oh, and I saw the typo as well but didn't think it was neccessary to repost the entire thing just to fix one word. By the way you misspelled my name, congratulations.
Care about something in life that actually matters...Just a thought.
It's people like you and everyone else who were up in arms about Lee's post that I thank God I never participated in drum corps.
Cheers.
Ye gods. What a douche.
"I was wasting my time getting into something that spawns music snobs" -> Amen!
If this guy really believed in what he was saying, he wouldn't have posted anonymously.
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