Drum Majors, Are Your Marching Bands Ready?
"Thunder In Boise" is what the promoters used to describe a Drum Corps International (for short: "DCI", for long: "A large group of extremely ambitious marching band geeks able to recite every line Mr. Spock had in the second season of the original Star Trek, gleefully making noise and moving in an organized fashion") tournament held on the blue turf of the Boise State Stadium last Tuesday. I'm hardly one to belittle marching bands, after all I did participate in the Keith Stein Blue Thunder Marching Band all through my tenure at Boise State University, but as this was a legitimate competition I find it necessary to let you all in on how I judged the evenings competitors.
Performance Number One: The Actual Program:
It's not that generic astrobright programs have been overdone, it's just that - well, they ARE overdone. I know the stuff is super cheap, but at least make an effort to be original. Honestly, I've seen more creativity in a cinder block wall. But as a redeeming quality the times were scheduled down to the minute (i.e. the Oregon Crusaders were scheduled to perform from 7:57 to 8:14). Too bad the very first act started seven minutes late and completely destroyed all the effort put into my bright yellow observer guide.
Grading: A+ for planning, F- for visual creativity. Overall: C.
Performance Number Two: The National Anthem:
I'm torn on this one for two reasons. One: the anthem was performed by a very talented woman I've known since my early days of college; but two: it took more time to get through the song than it did for America to win the Revolutionary War. I don't know when it became cool to drag that tune out for as long as humanly possible, but we experienced two lunar eclipses between the first and second stanzas alone.
Grading: A for talent/execution, D for arrangement, A+ for visual beauty. Overall: B.
"Spokane Thunder":
They say it's always best to perform first, so you won't be judged based on someone's previous performance. Whoever said that obviously wasn't there on Tuesday. I thought thunder was supposed to be loud? These guys couldn't have sounded any quieter if they were stalking an antelope in the forrest. On top of that, there were no cymbals. NO CYMBALS! Cymbals are the quintessential aspects of any marching band. A marching band without cymbals is like a DVD player without a TV: useless!
Performance: F, Fancy formations: C, Cymbals: F-. Overall: F.
"Oregon Crusaders":
The most ironic aspect of this group's performance was that they played Middle Eastern music and acted out scenes from what looked like Disney's "Aladdin," despite being named after a group of Western militants intent to eradicate the Arabs from the Holy Land. Good idea: spend hundreds of years slaughtering Muslims then play their songs in a Marching Band Competition. Not to mention another lack of cymbals.
Performance: C, Multi-Ethnic Harmony: F-, Cymbals: F-. Overall: F.
"Vanguard Cadets":
Finally a band with marching cymbal players! And on top of that they swung them around better than their their flag team girls could ever dream of, despite the fact that they were dressed like Robbin Hood's Merry Men.
performance: B-, Probable Archery Skills: A-, Cymbals: A+. Overall: B+.
(See, cymbals go a long way).
"Seattle Cascades":
These guys had a show reminiscent of every underground Indie play you could possibly imagine. There was a narrator saying such phrases as: "Construct a flying machine, a machine that can fly." (A bit of a statement of redundancy statement - get it!?!). The colorguard gals were dressed up with costumes left over from Logan's Run. In addition there were air raid sirens, giant geometric shapes made from PVC pipe, and huge model airplanes. This thing was weirder than any Stanly Kubrik flick. BUT, I do have two buddies in this band, one on a bass drum, the other on the... CYMBALS.
Performance: A+, Pink Floyd Weirdness: A+, Cymbals: A+. Overall: A+.
(As a performer, it helps to know the judge... WINK!).
"Phantom Regiment":
Apparently these were the heavyweights of the night, and they certainly didn't lack in sound. However, they played old Gershwin tunes and dressed like they were still smack dab in the Roaring Twenties. Honestly, there are more people living in the past in this band than at all modern Woodstocks and every Renaissance clubs combined. One woman in front of me wore a shirt that said, "Be Afraid of the Dark - Phantom Regiment." True enough, I was afraid of dark that night - but only because I thought they were going to go into another song. With over 150 members, you'd think that at least one of the would know how to play the cymbals...
Performance: A, modernism of Costumes: F, Cymbals: F-. Overall C.
And that concluded the evenings festivities. In case anyone was wondering how the real judges scored them, here's the official report card:
Spokane Thunder: 56/100, 5th place
Oregon Crusaders: 70/100, 4th place
Vanguard Cadets: 76/100, 2nd place
Seattle Cascades: 72/100, 3rd place
Phantom Regiment: 84/100, 1st place
What does that say about society when a low/mid B actually makes you the grand champion?
Rock On
